momandsontennisdream.com » When One Point Stays With a Child LONGER Than the Match

I keep noticing something in junior tennis that makes me think about what is happening in our children's minds, not just what is happening on the scoreboard.

Imagine a child playing an important match.

At some point, they are convinced a ball was out. The chair umpire sees it differently and makes a different call.

The match continues.

For us watching from the side, it is one point. One point out of so many played during a match.

But for a child, sometimes that point doesn't end when the next one begins.

It stays with them.The frustration starts. The feeling that something wasn't fair. And although the child keeps playing, their mind may still be stuck on what just happened.

I think this is something we sometimes forget as adults.

It can be even harder for a child to accept a situation like this when the decision comes from an adult. A child naturally expects that adult to know the rules, to see what happened and to make the right decision.

So when what the child is certain they saw doesn't match the adult's decision, it can be very difficult for them to process.

As adults, we've had years to learn how to deal with frustration, accept things we cannot change and move on.

Children are still learning.

They are still learning how to manage disappointment, frustration and that very strong feeling of "this wasn't fair."

And during a tennis match, they don't have much time to do it. A few seconds later, they are expected to be ready for the next point.

Sometimes they are not.

They keep playing, but mentally they are still somewhere behind.

Sometimes even with tears in their eyes.

And there was something else that stayed with me. After the match, the other young player came over and said that they had seen that moment the same way.

I think that matters too. Sport isn't only about learning how to handle difficult moments. It's also about being fair to the person on the other side of the net once the competition is over.

Not every young player will do that. And perhaps that's another lesson worth teaching our children.

Would that one point have changed the result? Maybe not. And that isn't really the point of this story.Children who compete will face decisions they disagree with. They will experience moments they believe are unfair. We cannot remove those moments from sport, and maybe we shouldn't.

What we can do is help them learn, little by little, how not to lose the next point because they are still fighting the previous one in their head.

Not by telling them, "Forget it."

Not by pretending their frustration isn't real.

But by helping them eventually reach the point where they can think:I know what I saw. I can't change the decision. Now I have to play the next point.

I think this is one of those lessons in junior sport that takes time.

As a mother, this is the part that matters most to me. Not who was right or wrong, but how we help a child leave that point behind andentally present for the next one.

Because sometimes the hardest part isn't teaching our children how to win or lose.

It's teaching them how to move forward when, in their eyes, something simply wasn't fair.

I would really like to hear from other parents of young athletes. How do you help your child through moments like this?